I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
