i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize