Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
