dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
