first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
