Say something about gay babies.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
