It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Found the puke drawer
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I want a musical about memes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
