Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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