ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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