this boner is exhausting
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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