I understand Curling. That high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
