Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
