i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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