The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
