i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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