you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
