well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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