i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
