Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
