Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So many bounce houses so little time
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
