the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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