Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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