Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
