wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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