Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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