I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
