how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Randomize
