My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
