I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
