The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
