I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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