first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
