Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize