so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
