If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize