Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize