once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
