I want to make a zoo with you.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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