1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
