did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize