no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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