I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
