Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
