I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's get the cat blown out
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
