Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Randomize