I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
