to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
