It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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