i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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