I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
