somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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