No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
