What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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