kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
