So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
