ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
