My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
