Pants 0. Shit 1.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
